$13,000 to go

6 takeaways from 6 months of paying down debt

Greetings from the last day of what I can only describe as a weird ass transformative best worst mindf*ck of a year.

In 2022, a decade after I’d started accumulating credit card debt, all roughly $20,000 of it had somehow still not gone away — despite my best efforts to ignore it out of existence.

It’s been six months since I started talking (and talking, and talking) about my debt and six months since I started (actually) working to pay it down.

I cannot talk about how without acknowledging the opportunities that have come my way this year, many, ironically, as a result of talking publicly about my financial situation. I know (over)sharing isn’t for everyone, but being open and vulnerable without letting fear of judgment get in the way opened new doors, presented new, welcomed challenges and resulted in getting higher paying work. For that, and for all the people who facilitated those opportunities, I am so grateful.

I also cannot talk about how without acknowledging that I still mostly have no idea. Do with that information what you will as you read through my takeaways.

budgeting really does work

I don’t know what else to tell you and I’m sorry. I didn’t want to believe it, either. But doing my little budget every day and making sure I’m not spending more than I’m making and trying to make sure none of the numbers in the big scary monthly overview turn red is effffeccttttiiive. The word budget doesn’t conjure up many positive feelings, but it’s not about restriction. It’s about reorganizing your priorities. And it can kind of be fun? If you want to try Tiller, the software I use, why not use my referral link? No pressure, and no overstepping your boundaries, because, friends…

I’ve gotten (a little) bit better at boundaries

This year I said no more (and, more importantly, stopped saying immediately yes without giving myself time to think about it first), started seeing my time as valuable for the first time ever, and started asking myself, often, who is this for? Not everything you do is going to be for you. That’s not how caring about people works. But if it starts to feel like it never is — maybe it’s time to start rethinking some of those yesses. It was for me. Putting yourself (and your finances!) first help you do it, which then helps your mental health, which helps you make better decisions about how you spend your time and money. It’s — whatever the opposite of a vicious cycle is.

I started setting goals  

I went to Paris in January. It was a trip I could not afford and do not regret. But I had no idea how much money I had to spend (none), what my budget was, why I maybe shouldn’t buy a $200 candle no matter how beautiful it is — that sort of thing. Now I have a saving’s account solely for the purpose of putting away travel money. So when I do book that flight or plan a trip, I’ll know how much money I have to work with and ultimately feel less anxious about what I spend. Plus, having a specific goal in mind makes it easier to say no to the things I don’t value as much in my day to day.

I started checking my bank account every single day 

Yikes, I know. But it helps. That’s all I have to say about that one.

I started swimming

Is swimming connected to spending? Not directly, no. But it is connected to the ways I’ve learned to take better care of myself. Finding movement that feels good and not like punishment, that doesn’t cost a ton of money to do (hey, maybe it is connected after all) and is stripped of any outside (read: digital) interruptions has been a gift. Plus it is so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But mostly, the talking

Talking about my debt over these past six months cracked me open. It helped me make sense of so many of the feelings I’ve had and choices I’ve made until this point. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and it led to more meaningful connections with others and with myself. So let’s keep doing it in 2023, okkkk!??!??!!?

Thank you so much for reading, commenting and writing to me this year. I am filled with gratitude.

Love,

Jamie AF

P.S. New year, new banner I definitely did not (did) make in Canva featuring Calls with Nana artwork by Brandon Campbell ( check out his rightfully blown up Instagram here!)