some things are worth $400

spend recap nightcap!!!!!

One of the many lessons I learned during 7+ years working in a newsroom was: “don’t read the comments.” I learned it the hard way, but I learned it nonetheless.

This sage piece of advice prevented many an emotional breakdown, but also proved to be, naturally, easier in practice. Now that I work for myself, and not a company, it’s an even more difficult endeavor.

It’s my face and my comments section where there are direct observations on my intelligence, or appearance, or opinion. It’s no longer a critique of my place of work, it’s a direct critique of me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the vulnerable act of making art and putting it into the world. The practice of attempting — not always successfully — to detach from the reception and cling on solely to the act. As a result, this mantra has been front of mind.

Except, I wasn’t able to resist this week, when a video clip of me from a podcast I appeared on sent me into a (short, but intense) tailspin. Instead of just feeling proud of the way I articulated my thoughts, I fell back into old patterns and wasted my precious time lasering in on the one nasty comment left about my appearance.

So, no, I didn’t get my hair cut and colored this week because I felt bad about myself. I got my haircut because it’s been a really, really, unacceptably long time.

But I won’t lie and tell you I didn’t feel 100 (or 400) times better after getting in that chair. It helped me snap out of a self-esteem spiral, made me feel beautiful and empowered and was worth every penny. You’ll see why below.

But first, a look at the budget: